This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
