i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
The ass gains better be worth it
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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