Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Slut skills are useful in every country.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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