i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
