did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Randomize