im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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