dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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