I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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