Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
