so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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