It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize