Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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