i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
