Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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