he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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