I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
