did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
