I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
