I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
