I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
