no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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