Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize