The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
