I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
