Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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