We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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