Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize