You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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