apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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