you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
