He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
