he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
