You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
