do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I look better un-naked...
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
