we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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