I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
