I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
