you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
