And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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