You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Randomize