whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
