So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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