Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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