Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Plan B is the new Plan A
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize