Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize