I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
