Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
