Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I woke up under a house in Key West
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
