i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Couch. On fire.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize