So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
soo... how was my night?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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