i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
