kristin has been a bad kristin
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize