We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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