you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
