Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
