Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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