I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
