Pants 0. Shit 1.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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