we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize