guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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