I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
