I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
