No, you can still breathe under the balls.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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