Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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