he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
