how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
