every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
