I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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