Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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