a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
