Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
as a side note pls kill me
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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