Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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