i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
