Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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