I think my vagina is haunted
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
