I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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