Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
