whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
