I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
it's like heaven, but drunker
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
