HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
