Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
