All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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